Dear Actor People With a Fear of Looking Pale,
Your constant use of spray tan is wearing out my television. See, when you appear all orange-like on my screen, I assume my color settings must be off and try to fix it. And then I realize that other channels seem to look fine, in fact the people you are standing next to seem to look fine. And then, I become mesmerized with your coloring, wondering what special mirrors you must have in your house that you think this looks better or desirable or like something you shouldn't be suing for. So, please, for the sake of us all, stop.
An Avid Television Viewer