Things People Should Know: Information Dissemination

In this increasingly digital age, there seems to be confusion (perhaps simply among folks of my acquaintance) about information dissemination, but in an attempt to clarify this, here are the rules according to me.*
For news regarding engagements, births, deaths, etc:
1. People who birthed you or who you birthed should be in the first round of notifications.  Ideally, these folks get in person notifications, though obviously you may currently be separated by geography (by which I mean a state or three or a country, not, you're upstairs and they are downstairs.) In cases of geographic separation, then your normal mode of communication may be substituted.
2. Posts via email or social networking for others in outer circles are fine, but understand that this may negate any in person notifications you were planning to make.
3. Should you discover said news from a third party and choose to pass it on, please consider that the news originators may still be making their in person notifications, and it may not be up to you to blast it via email or social media.
4. Tagging or texting folks a picture of an engagement ring or baby (or casket although I have only seen that once) is one way to approach this, but keep in mind that depending on the settings of the social media, it may appear to the friends of your friends that they are the ones with the news, leading to many awkward conversations. 

*My rules should work everywhere and in perpetuity, but you may know weird people who do not (yet) accept my rules or, it seems possible that these rules may become outdated. 

Things People Should Know: The Sensitivity Edition

Okay, this has been well covered, but it is seriously so insane I feel the need to rehash it.
So, as is typical, different neighborhoods get their trash/recycling pickup different days of the week. If service is suspended on a day - such as a Federal Holiday - that day often gets skipped or postponed, which sucks, because you can easily get enough junkmail in a week to fill up your supercan, and it especially sucks if you find out (or remember) after you've hauled everything to the curb, but really, this is not the worst thing that can happen to your day.
Why are we talking about this, well, sadly the DC Department of Public Works, the very one that handles trash and recycling collection, had an incident last week, where, sadly, someone strode onto the lot and shot and killed a sanitation worker. Now, it seems to me that people should realize the following things:
This is a terrible tragedy.
The lot where this occurred is now a crime scene.
The employees who witnesses this are going to be shaken, upset and likely need to also be interviewed by police.
Rolling trash and recycling trucks across the scene of a crime is frowned on while the police investigate.
Asking employees, whether they witnessed their co-worker's death or just found out about it upon arrival to continue their day as normal, in insensitive and ill advised. (Do you really want grief stricken folks manevering large vehicles through your street?)
And yes, grief is a long process, certainly not done in a day, but waiting a day or even a week for your trash and recycling pickup is not really a hardship. Inconvenient, sure. But I also think we can agree this is not an ongoing issue, this is (hopefully) an unusual circumstance and we can all make it through. But apparently some neighbors on a local listserv thought differently. (Follow that link at your own risk. May cause anger or disbelief.)

h/t to DCist and TBD for the linkage.

Things People Should Know: The Internet

The internet is available to anyone with an internet connection. I know this seems obvious but the number of times that people have forgotten that continues to amaze me.
This means that:
If you write something about how trashed you were yesterday, people can read it. People like your parents (of particular concern if you are underage), your boss, your prospective boss, your friend who you told you were studying last night, and so on.
If you change your email address to reflect a major life change you have made, anyone who you email will notice. So, if I changed my email to tattooedgirl@notmyrealemail.com or shackingup@thisoneisfaketoo.com, then when you email people, they will suspect that you are tattooed or, you know, shacking up'.
If you change your profile - on your social networking site or your blog or wherever - to indicate a similar life event to the examples above, people will find out.
And just in case anyone is unclear, this is not how you make such announcements to family and close friends. Even an email is pushing it for those people, but that is certainly better than them finding out because your profile now mentions that you have three kids instead of none. Sure, we can argue that there are exceptions for estranged family and such, and possibly, depending on the circumstances, that might be true. But if you go ahead with this method of non-communication, you are likely causing further damage to that relationship. If you're okay with that, then go ahead.

Things People Should Know: Project Runway Again

(Warning - I am going to spoil some stuff if you haven't caught the latest episode.)
While I had gotten accidentally spoiled that Jack would leave, I was unaware that that would lead to Chris returning. And poor Jack, he had to leave so he could go get proper treatment that would require him to sleep and not work 20 hour days and stuff.
Meanwhile Steven - who I am fairly sure said he auditioned for last season doesn't work with polyester satin.
Have you watched the show? They have made clothes out of groceries, recyclables and flowers. None of those are things that are 'normal' or the choice the designer would make. You all have been lucky so far - sure you had to do menswear or make clothes for 'real' people but everything you have done so far involves actual material. (And yeas, Jillian also cheated and used mostly purchased material, but she did it in a similar color, she did it because the shirt's seaming presenting challenges (which - whatever) and her end garment was lovely). So don't talk about how you don't use polyester satin - that is your challenge. Work with it. Or go home. So, while I thought you might be interesting to get to know a little better - oh well. Perhaps there is another show where they only use the best fabrics.

ETA: The folks at BPR have schooled me on the potential horrors of working with polyester satin. I still think even the illusion of using it would have been wise. Especially since this was this woman's wedding dress. While obviously she offered it up to the Project Runway gods, one has to imagine she wanted some of it's essence preserved since they were wearing their 'favorite outfits'.

Things People Should Know #20

Most people find it easier to have sex than to talk about it. However, amusing Monty Python skits aside, teaching your children (or other people's) by having sex with them watching is not an age approriate teaching method. Now, the boyfriend's statement seems to imply he viewed it as less of a learning opportunity and more of a it's natural so we're not going to hide it thing. Which I sort of get. Sure, they've been talking over at Lipstick Chronicles about how to continue a happy, healthy sex life post-kidlet. And certainly parents should not have to only have sex when they are under a different roof from their children. But there is an important difference between not padlocking the door and encouraging your child to hang out with you while you have sex. Somehow I don't think that's what people mean when they talk about quality time with your child.

Things People Should Know #19

I've talked about this before. When calling people in order to do or obtain something illegal, it is a really good idea to understand who you are calling. And not just pick a number out of your son's cell phone and call for drugs. It turns out the guy was happy to help, help arrest her for drug possession that is. Because he was a cop. Her son had the number since he had himself been arrested for drug charges. Apparently, he told his mom if she needed help to call him. He just meant a different kind of help. So maybe the message is to listen to your child better.

Things People Should Know #18

I understand there are jobs that have you on the go, and sometimes, that can make it hard to attend to personal things, such as peeing. After all, it sort of made sense to me that the astronaut would want to limit her stopping on her way to convince someone to love you instead. (Time is clearly of the essence there. Of course.)
And let's face it, some highways (NJ turnpike anyone) have their exits twenty seven miles apart so you may hit a critical phase bodily-function-wise and have a ways to go.
However, there are places where it would be disgusting (or more disgusting) to spit, much less pee. And if your job takes you to one of those places, well, you may wish you had a diaper. And if you don't you just have to wait. Say, for example you were a press photographer, covering a funeral for a soldier. The call of nature can be hard to resist, but when you are on the job in a cemetery, resisting is the best action. Especially when your fellow photographers are there to photograph you relieving yourself.

Things People Should Know #17

Okay, I can see - in a twisted way - how breaking in to your ex-girlfriend's house with a sword might seem like an exciting idea. (Still creepy and illegal, by the way, but I can see the appeal.) However, where this idea goes from kinda dumb to crazy stupid is when your ex-girlfriend's roommate is a sword collector. And he's home. So, several charges and an arm slice later, one guy has hopefully learned that lesson.

Things People Should Know: The Grammy Edition

I'm hoping the camera just panned too fast, so I won't name names. I know people have very strong feelings about the Dixie Chicks. (Although I find it fascinating that certain people make anti-semitic remarks and we should support them, their movies go to number one, there is no talk of not showing their movies. Make one off-hand remark about a politician, and people will refuse to play your music on the radio.) Certainly, I don't personally agree with every winner last night. But I know that if you are there, you applaud the winner. The event is televised. Applauding doesn't mean you like them or support them or are best buddies with them, applause is simply basic politeness. You can go home and throw things - or if you feel unable to clap for a few seconds, you can choose to not attend the event. But really, crossing your arms and refusing to applaud does not make a statement. It just makes you childish. Even if the people who won are up there being a bit childish, clap. It won't kill you. And it will give you a leg to stand on should you later wish to discuss appropriate public behavior.

Things People Should Know #16

Now, I am not nor have I ever been a dog owner. I like dogs, but they require more care and attention than I have to give right now. Someday when I live in my own place with a yard or a lawn, this may change. Who knows. Of course the other reason I have resisted dog ownership is the need for walking. And the corresponding need for scooping. Sure I have to dispose of my cat's stuff too, but I have a automatic litter box so I scoop up the stuff from one convenient receptacle into another. And try not to think too hard about it.
But I feel certain that there are rules about doggie stuff. Such as, you should not let your dog do stuff in other people's yards. Or on other people. (hey - it happened to me - sitting in a park and, I thought, minding my own business. Ruined a really cute pair of shoes.) Yeah you can't really make your dog relieve itself exactly when you want, but it would seem you certainly could control bits of it, by controlling where your dog walks. After all, you manage to keep your dog out from under moving cars, I assume, so you have some control. Other people's yards are the same. Especially their gardens.
Over at the Rage Diaries a fascinating discussion is developing. Lisa and her spouse noted people letting their dogs pee in the potted plants they have placed in their yard. Plants they had been hoping to consume. In each case the owners moved their dogs after being directly asked about it. Although not until the dog had already emptied itself. And I realize that cats that roam free probably do this too. It's not that I feel cats are exempt. If I was standing right next to my cat, I would certainly stop her. Right now my cat doesn't go out anyway, so yes, it's all very easy for me. And certainly, the joy of growing things outside is that they are exposed to, um, all sorts of stuff. But, stuff that just happens is very different from stuff you essentially lead your pet too.

Things People Should Know #15

It is apparently that kind of day. My mother was the one who pointed out to me way back in the day, that many of those reviewer-quote-movie trailers have either only one word (and who knows if the surrounding words lent the same positive air) or are fom some obscure paper you've never heard of. Not all of them clearly, but many. So when the scandal broke that some studios had paid reviewers, well, I was underwhelmed. And there has been discussion recently, particularly as anyone with internet access thes days can call themselves a reviewer, about reviews for books that seem to suggest that the reviewer has not in fact read or finished the book. Chalice Chick reviewed the Left Behind game on her blog and got a canned response that there was misinformation afoot, even though that's what her review said.
But of course it is one thing to review something and have a minority opinion, or to get things a bit wrong. It is quite another to review something that has not, in fact, been written. Particularly if one is a 'professional' reviewer. Certainly one often feels one knows what to expect from a filmmaker or author, but you can't be certain if it hasn't even been written.

Thanks to Smart Bitches for the link to the review story.

Things People Should Know #14

I graduated college and moved back home. And got a job. And yes, I lived with my parents for a couple years after college, in part because I had entry-level jobs, one where I was paid monthly and not always on time. But once I got a job with a company that actually does payroll so I had a regular pay check, I found a place to live and moved out. (I did move back in a few years later, after my father died at my mother's request.) So, I get that some of us need/crave/enjoy a little cushion before heading fully out into the world. My sister in contrast was out, and even off to a different state within about two months of graduation.
But here's the thing, while there are differences between being a high schooler living at home and being a graduate or other-wised non-schooling person living at home, one things is still true: your parents still get to make some of the rules.
For example, a woman in Louisiana told her son he needed to get a job if he wanted to continue living at home (he is 31). It appears, that his response was to set the couch on fire while she was next door. This led to the house burning completely down. So, now he really needs a job because I feel fairly certain his mom is really kicking him out now. Or she would be, if she had a place to kick him out of.
Thanks to Red Orbit for the story.

Things People Should Know 13#

There is a time and a place for funny. The hard part is that it is always funny to the person making the funny because, well, they know it's supposed to be funny. But when other people don't - well that's when things can get sticky. For example, we all know in wedding ceremonies they ask each participant if they agree to be married. Well, a bride in Austria answered, "No," and the officiant broke off the ceremony. The officiant refused to resume the ceremony, and it had to be rescheduled.

Things People Should Know #12

Okay guys, my very first "Things People Should Know" was about a bus driver having sex in a school bus on school grounds. Well, now a local bus driver has been charged with first-degree child sexual abuse after allegedly having sex on the bus (after the route was completed, thank goodness) with an underage girl. Now seriously people, it's not a great idea to have sex while at work. Or even still in your workplace (unless you work from home or something). It's really dumb to have sex with teenagers without clarifying their age. It's also looking like the driver had a suspended license, so one would hope he would have been on his best, under-the-radar behavior. But apparently not.

Things People Should Know #10

Be careful who you talk to. Or text. For example a teen in Oklahoma sent several text messages to a friend. The messages referenced getting together to buy and smoke marijuana. Despite receiving no response, the teen continued sendin messages into the next day. Then a response came and a meeting was set up. Except instead of meeting up with a friend the teen was pulled over for a traffic violation. And then arrested when the drugs were discovered in her purse. Yes, the person the teen had been texting was, in fact, a police officer.

Things People Should Know #9

You may have heard that there was a plot to blow up some planes recently and that resulted a greater list of things being banned from being carried on to planes. So, you might think that people would be especially careful about what they brought with them. Perhaps shipping certain things home. Especially anything that is sold in special stores that some people don't go to so might not know what it is and then might ask you to tell them what it is. You know, like part of a penis pump. You might also think that if you decided to go ahead and pack the object in your luggage (for a trip you were taking with your mother) that you would be prepared to answer questions about it. But Mr. Amin decided, that since his mother was standing nearby when he was asked by the TSA agent about the item, that it was too embarrassing to say the words penis pump, so instead he told security that it was a bomb. Guess what happened next? If you guessed that he was arrested and charged with felony disorderly conduct, you would be right. So guess what, now not only does his mother know he had a penis pump, but so do I. And you too! That's much better.

Update - Apparently Mr Amin actually told the security guard it was a pump and was misheard. Due to his mother's proximity he was whispering, which along with his accent created confusion about what he was trying to say. Charges have all been dropped.