I cast on last week for a sweater using a type of yarn I'd used before. The prior seater went super fast. It helped that it is aran yarn, although made of light materials, had a lot of stockinette, but just enough lace to keep me from being bored. And the progress on the body went so fast that I zoomed through the sleeves.
So I went into this one with high expectations for myself. It started with lace shoulder panels, those went fast, as things knit on 9's that are only 16 stitches wide tend to. I picked up the edges, did some short rows, got everything added and joined to start working in the round. And then, I started to wonder. Was it too big? It's an oversized sweater, so it's a question without a clear answer. I kept trying it on, but the yarn is so sloppy that it invariably fell off the needles when I tried. I was theoretically making progress, working quickly through the yarn balls and yet, it seemed wide. I reassured myself that things often come together once you're farther along and can better see the shape. That if it had taken Just over a week to get this far, if I had to rip back, it wouldn't take too long. And yet every time I picked it up, continuing to knit felt futile. Like denial. And I tried to figure out was it really the sweater bugging me or was it bigger stuff. Other things that felt stuck, going through the motions in the same pattern magically hoping for a last no ore reveal? And I have to tell you, I don't really have the answer to that yet. But I did cast on a new shawl.