Monday, November 04, 2019

November

I have a complex relationship with Fall. My birthday falls in fall so I feel I should love it. The trees turning colors is gorgeous. Breaking out a different set of clothes is fun. But in fourth grade I got pneumonia in fall. In fifth grade my allergies had gotten so bad my parents had me tested and my leaf mold allergy took leaf playing off the table. I spent one fall unable to walk more than a few blocks without my inhaler, as an excessive amount of rain followed by mild weather meant the leaf mold was everywhere. I hate all the darkness, and the sleeping better and warmer and cozier doesn't make up for it.
Fall is NaNo. Fall is a busy period with my day job stuff. Fall is the lead up to the holiday season where there are so many expectations.
I went to an event for the Capital Area Food Bank and was reminded that the cold and the weather and the where will I get food is even more fraught for others. 
I always hesitate to do the other people have it worse stuff, because yes, they do,but you can also have feelings about your own stuff.
So this year I am trying to come to better terms with Fall. In what I expect of it and myself during this time.

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