Oh, don't worry, not getting terribly existential here. I just meant here, on the internet. Possibly even here, you know, right here. Personally, I like being entertained, and I think the internet is good at that. I like being informed and the internet is good at that. (Yes, you have to sometimes be careful, but really, that's true wherever you get your information.)
As more and more people come to check out this newfangled internet thing, some of them seem confused. (In fairness, there have been confused people all along, there are just more of them now.) Some people think if I follow them on Twitter, what I really meant was not entertain me with your various tweets, but send me a message reminding me that you have a [insert product here] and that I should GO BUY it RIGHT NOW. (They use the caps, okay, not me.) Or that they should whine because they said or did this thing and now they have less followers. (I swear, every time someone posts that, I am tempted to unfollow them right then.)
And some people seem to think that because there is Facebook and My Space and Twitter and Tumblr and [all the other things] they should get on every single one. But then, it's really hard to some up with twelve really cool things to tell people, so instead they will tell people the exact same thing in all twelve places. Those people I do unfollow, or unfriend, or what have you, I don't need the message twelve times. If that's how you choose to use your social media, I probably don't need to socialize with you too much. (I may, if the message itself is interesting, need it once. However if the message was just, "Buy my things!", well, I'm good.)
So, I really appreciate seeing people talk about better ways to do it, even if it is to say that I'm pretty sure that doing X or Y, is bad, what would you people suggest. So, we have Jennifer Crusie here, talking about the difference between buzz and hype. (And asking people stuff.) And Maureen Johnson with her Manifesto of not being a brand. And Alison Kent talking about how social media is, you know, social.
Rants About New (and old) Things
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
Change Resistance
Dear Cell Phone Store Employees,
I apologize in advance, since I fiddled with my mother's cell phone and pointed out that since she could access the internet, and download apps, she could probably access her email on her existing (if relatively old flip) phone. She did already make one trip to find out about her choices, but the sales person tried to fit her with a Cadillac smart phone with a ginormous data plan and she walked right out the store and continued on with her flip phone. Hopefully, you'll be able to talk her into something mid-range now. Best of luck to you.
Sincerely,
The Daughter She So Rarely Listens to, but Now That I've Suggested This, Well, Sorry Again.
I apologize in advance, since I fiddled with my mother's cell phone and pointed out that since she could access the internet, and download apps, she could probably access her email on her existing (if relatively old flip) phone. She did already make one trip to find out about her choices, but the sales person tried to fit her with a Cadillac smart phone with a ginormous data plan and she walked right out the store and continued on with her flip phone. Hopefully, you'll be able to talk her into something mid-range now. Best of luck to you.
Sincerely,
The Daughter She So Rarely Listens to, but Now That I've Suggested This, Well, Sorry Again.
Monday, March 07, 2011
Two Problems, One Nutty Solution
My apartment overlooks a parking lot and a side street that has nicer parking restrictions than the main road, which means I hear car alarms not infrequently. (It seems like it is getting better, but it is possible that just like my friend who's parents lived on a flight path, I have grown more accustomed.)
I understand that the DC metro area has a high rate of car crime and that while a determined thief will always win (because they will tow your car, etc) that small things like a club can reduce your risk, particularly when there are better targets to be had.
However, I am not entirely convinced that car alarms fall into this category. After all I was once sitting innocently in my brother's car while he ran into the store when the alarm went off. He had taken the keys with him, which, on his car, apparently triggered the alarm after a certain period if the car could detect the presence of another person. I checked and saw that my brother had taken the keys, tried jiggling the steering wheel and triggering the locks, and when that didn't work I just sat there until he got back. A few people looked at me, mostly in annoyance. No one asked me what I was doing in that car. No one alerted my brother - or the other customers in the store - that the alarm was going off. My brother finished his business, walked back out, and went, "Oh, it was you."
So, had I had nefarious purposes, I suspect people would have thought I had accidentally triggered it and let me make off with the car.
Therefore, my unscientific conclusion is that car alarms are really only of interest to the car owner. But in cities where people might be parked a few blocks away or have loud neighbors, they may not hear it (unless they set it off themselves).
My suggestion, then, is car alarms that screech to your bluetooth headset. This is the second problem (although really it's more of a pet peeve, but it's my blog and therefore my peeves are problems). People (often guys) seem to like wearing their bluetooth headsets. I have a theory that it is people who secretly wish for more accessories in their lives, but really, it would make far more sense to wear that headset to the bathroom and to school plays and such if you could tell people it was in case the car alarm went off.
This would also assist in scenarios where people's car alarms might be set a touch to sensitive, because I feel certain that if people knew that their car alarm went off every time a truck rumbled by, they would wish to address that.
I understand that the DC metro area has a high rate of car crime and that while a determined thief will always win (because they will tow your car, etc) that small things like a club can reduce your risk, particularly when there are better targets to be had.
However, I am not entirely convinced that car alarms fall into this category. After all I was once sitting innocently in my brother's car while he ran into the store when the alarm went off. He had taken the keys with him, which, on his car, apparently triggered the alarm after a certain period if the car could detect the presence of another person. I checked and saw that my brother had taken the keys, tried jiggling the steering wheel and triggering the locks, and when that didn't work I just sat there until he got back. A few people looked at me, mostly in annoyance. No one asked me what I was doing in that car. No one alerted my brother - or the other customers in the store - that the alarm was going off. My brother finished his business, walked back out, and went, "Oh, it was you."
So, had I had nefarious purposes, I suspect people would have thought I had accidentally triggered it and let me make off with the car.
Therefore, my unscientific conclusion is that car alarms are really only of interest to the car owner. But in cities where people might be parked a few blocks away or have loud neighbors, they may not hear it (unless they set it off themselves).
My suggestion, then, is car alarms that screech to your bluetooth headset. This is the second problem (although really it's more of a pet peeve, but it's my blog and therefore my peeves are problems). People (often guys) seem to like wearing their bluetooth headsets. I have a theory that it is people who secretly wish for more accessories in their lives, but really, it would make far more sense to wear that headset to the bathroom and to school plays and such if you could tell people it was in case the car alarm went off.
This would also assist in scenarios where people's car alarms might be set a touch to sensitive, because I feel certain that if people knew that their car alarm went off every time a truck rumbled by, they would wish to address that.
Tuesday, March 01, 2011
7 Things:Making Your Manuscript Annoy Me
Having just dug myself out of a small pile of contest entries (2 contests that happened to overlap, bad planning on my part), I come with a new appreciation for slush pile readers. Reading slush is not like reading a book you bought at a store that has a description and a cover blurb. I know these (as all stories do) represents someone's blood, sweat and tears. I also know that things that work or don't work for me, will elicit different reactions from others. And, as is often said in the review business, there are quite a few things that just make you think, meh. But here are some things I discovered put me in a not favorable frame of mind towards an entry.
1. Clip art. There should not be clip art or graphics or cute drawings in your manuscript or synopsis. If you have something that you stuck in there to inspire you while you were writing, take it out before you submit it.
2. Unorthodox capitalization. You may be writing Contemporary, or fantasy, or Something Else entirely, but this does not Give you license to invent New capitalization rules.
3. Pointless scenes. I am a terrible violator of this rule, so, much like that dieting friend who's always counting your calories for you, I am easily irked by this. Here's the thing, if the scene is really fun, most readers will let it slide, but early on* if the first three scenes only teach me the same two things about the main characters, well, this is me getting bored.
4. Overuse descriptions. Now this is one that I am terrible about doing, but I think people tend to fall into a writery sense. I think your average person does not meet someone and think, "Wow, their eyes look like the sea after a summer storm." I think people go, "Huh, gray eyes" or possibly even, "Nice gray eyes." Now sure, there are people who think in more artisic terms, and if your character is one of those people, I am fine with that, but I read a lot of entries where people looking at other characters suddenly turned into some sort of poet.
5. Excessive cliche use. Look cliches are a great shorthand and can be very useful, but there is a limit. Just like you can't overuse a pet word (or six) don't have everything be a cliche, unless of course, there is some character specific reason for them to think in cliches.
6. Have characters say things that constantly have to be explained. I have read entries where someone would say something and then the thought following it would explain what it really meant. Again, there are times when this is necessary, but if it happens too often, then I start to wonder why your characters never say things that just make sense.
7. An insane synopsis. Now insane is in the eye of the beholder, but I read a few entries where the pages I had were good (not great, but good) and I flipped to the synopsis and it turns out what seemed like a nice little cozy story took eight or nine left turns and landed us in the city of ridiculous coincidences.
*These entries were mostly the first 30-50 pages.
1. Clip art. There should not be clip art or graphics or cute drawings in your manuscript or synopsis. If you have something that you stuck in there to inspire you while you were writing, take it out before you submit it.
2. Unorthodox capitalization. You may be writing Contemporary, or fantasy, or Something Else entirely, but this does not Give you license to invent New capitalization rules.
3. Pointless scenes. I am a terrible violator of this rule, so, much like that dieting friend who's always counting your calories for you, I am easily irked by this. Here's the thing, if the scene is really fun, most readers will let it slide, but early on* if the first three scenes only teach me the same two things about the main characters, well, this is me getting bored.
4. Overuse descriptions. Now this is one that I am terrible about doing, but I think people tend to fall into a writery sense. I think your average person does not meet someone and think, "Wow, their eyes look like the sea after a summer storm." I think people go, "Huh, gray eyes" or possibly even, "Nice gray eyes." Now sure, there are people who think in more artisic terms, and if your character is one of those people, I am fine with that, but I read a lot of entries where people looking at other characters suddenly turned into some sort of poet.
5. Excessive cliche use. Look cliches are a great shorthand and can be very useful, but there is a limit. Just like you can't overuse a pet word (or six) don't have everything be a cliche, unless of course, there is some character specific reason for them to think in cliches.
6. Have characters say things that constantly have to be explained. I have read entries where someone would say something and then the thought following it would explain what it really meant. Again, there are times when this is necessary, but if it happens too often, then I start to wonder why your characters never say things that just make sense.
7. An insane synopsis. Now insane is in the eye of the beholder, but I read a few entries where the pages I had were good (not great, but good) and I flipped to the synopsis and it turns out what seemed like a nice little cozy story took eight or nine left turns and landed us in the city of ridiculous coincidences.
*These entries were mostly the first 30-50 pages.
Wednesday, February 02, 2011
7 Things: The Random Edition
Note: Contains reference to a racist sports team name.
This list lacks a theme, mostly.
1. The answer to where are all my stitch markers appears to be in my couch.
2. While I love being a nice, charitable person, the side effect of receiving more and more letters from charities I have never given to demanding money is sometimes less fun.
3. I have broken a lot of size six needles in the last year. Not sure why, unless sixes are a particularly vulnerable size. (The breakings have all been my fault.)
4. I seem to have a surprising lack of red in my wardrobe.
5. I remember when people said chocolate was bad for you, now it looks like it's great for you. (Unless that's all you eat.) I am awaiting similar discoveries about french fries, red licorice and ice cream.
6. I wonder if the Redskins would look any different if their ownership was spread out amoung many part owners like the Packers.
7. I want a dragon like the ones in "How to Train Your Dragon".
This list lacks a theme, mostly.
1. The answer to where are all my stitch markers appears to be in my couch.
2. While I love being a nice, charitable person, the side effect of receiving more and more letters from charities I have never given to demanding money is sometimes less fun.
3. I have broken a lot of size six needles in the last year. Not sure why, unless sixes are a particularly vulnerable size. (The breakings have all been my fault.)
4. I seem to have a surprising lack of red in my wardrobe.
5. I remember when people said chocolate was bad for you, now it looks like it's great for you. (Unless that's all you eat.) I am awaiting similar discoveries about french fries, red licorice and ice cream.
6. I wonder if the Redskins would look any different if their ownership was spread out amoung many part owners like the Packers.
7. I want a dragon like the ones in "How to Train Your Dragon".
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