I don't know that any of my relative fought in the Civil War. The Hawaiian side of the family was clearly in place, but not yet USian. I have some other European descended relations who I know did some missionary type things in the New England area, and some relatives who ended up in Oregon in the early 1900's. Their location and activities in the 1800's are not currently known to me.
I do know that my great grandfather wrote editorials in opposition to the Ku Klux Klan in the 1920's, and I know I have had relatives involved in World War II, the Vietnam War, and some of the more recent non-war war stuff we do these days. As far as I am aware, none of them died directly in the war, although certainly one died much younger than we would have hoped.
Memorial Day has expanded it's reach and purpose these days, but started as a decoration day of sorts, after the Civil War created a lot of dead soldiers who needed proper burial.
And growing up, Memorial Day became a weekend we often went to visit friends and family in Connecticut. A day associated with long car rides, to arrive to weather that always felt a little cooler than I expected in Connecticut, and involved things like tennis (usually watching on my part) and the sounds and smells of salt water and trains.
This year I stayed in DC, celebrated a birthday with a friend, and cuddled cats at the cat cafe with other friends. So there was food, several kinds of ice cream, cats, yarn, and various iced drinks. It was good.