Monday, March 22, 2021

Ups and downs

Last week I got my first dose of the COVID vaccine. I experienced several hours of uninterrupted joy when I thought about the things that within weeks were going to be just a little bit easier to do. 
And then I realized I was going to get the second dose close to when my friend died, and I cried that she had the misfortune to contract this disease early,  such that even though she was healthy, even though it was caught early, the treatment protocols were so nascent that it didn't work. 
Last week the Oscars nominated two women directors for the first time ever. Sadly not three.
They nominated an Asian American for acting which was the first in a while.  
And a white man drove to three separate locations to kill a bunch of Asian Americans. The English language media used the police as their primary resource, so the first few days of reporting focused on the killer, on why he said he had and hadn't decided he needed to kill people. 
Korean language media had an eyewitness report that told a very different story.  
I know the world is always like this. That you can do this for any week. Some weeks the swings feel wilder, more radical.  
It becomes harder to maintain joy, and can even feel like the joy you do feel is irresponsible.  But of course joy and hope have to be maintained. I reference the hope is a discipline quote a lot, because it's important to remember.  I can hold space for my concerns, my sorrows, and my hope. 

Edited to correct typo.

No comments: