Monday, November 13, 2017

Families Created and Given

I was at a family wedding (and related festivities) this weekend.  I was reminded for all our foibles, I am related to a lot of amazing people.  And of course some of them I am related to by direct blood relations, and some because one of my direct relations went out and found another great person to add to our tribe.  My cousin's spouse comes from a great family, if their general ease with my loud, talkative family descending on them was any indication.  People reacted well to various uncles asking various groom side family and friends if they liked him, and they did seem too.
As can happen in this area, I was still wearing sandals as late as Tuesday, and then a cold front came in and even the New England relatives agreed it was very very cold.  (It was below freezing at some points.) I am a terrible wimp in the cold, and it didn't even snow, so I was really regretting that so many of the things that go along with looking fancy are counter to being warm.  I did slide some thermals underneath my leggings for the rehearsal dinner.  My dress for the wedding really needed tights, but I did layer two pairs. 
The bridesmaids were wearing dresses that I'm sure they picked out this summer, that were long but not particularly sleeved.  I did ask one of them if she had thermals or long johns underneath.  She did.  I applauded her fashion sense. Or warm sense. 
I joked at one point that I should be wearing a tag with a family tree and myself circled, particularly as I reintroduced myself to folks who hadn't seen me in a decade. 
Between the various toasts and the sermon, I have heard marriage compared to baseball, heard discussions of love languages, and various other storied about the bride and groom.  The minister said a thing I think we can all remember, that relationships are not about how the labor gets divided, they are about agreeing to work together continually on the relationship. And sure, there are times where you have to make sure you getting things out of a relationship, but a with a lot of other things in life, even if it doesn't turn out fair or even, you put in the work.