Three Interesting Things

1. This piece about a joke t-shirt, so fully encapsulates a thing I have witnessed so many times that I had jokingly been calling it sexual osmosis.  (As if folks seem to think that their proximity through marriage or other partnership to a culture means they know it likely better than you do.)  

2. This piece on Vivan Stephens, a founder of RWA, is an interesting look into how some of the issues RWA is grappling with were baked in from the start.  Also she is an incredible woman, well deserving of such a lengthy piece.  

3. An oddity at the Linz chocolate factory meant that there was a brief chocolate snow shower.  (Note: Video autoplays no long after opening.) 

Goodbye to a Pocket Friend

I met Corey Alexander who also wrote as Xan West on Twitter.  They had such a thoughtful interest in books, particularly romance books that were demonstrating protagonists find and falling in love that there might not be quite as many of.  I said to someone when I first heard they had passed, that they had excellent taste in books, which of course I consider an incredible compliment.  They also did a lot of work talking about things that romance and publishing could do to make all books better and safer places for readers.  It was a joy for me to see a rec list from Corey because so often I would have read two of them but not the others, and the two I had read I adored, so I knew this list was meant for me.  

It looks like it may have been complications of diabetes that led to their death, which is a sad reminder that our current healthcare system makes things tough for folks with chronic illnesses, and that the pandemic has only exacerbated that.  

Here's their round up of their fave YA they read last year. 

And here's their list of fave romance they read last year.  

Hope is a Discipline

I first heard this from activist Mariame Kaba.  As a person who has a high positivity strength, I find I sometimes have to remind myself of this.  I think this can often be the case, that folks who tend naturally in one direction, hit a speedbump in something and have to work a bit. Because we tend to build and practice things around the stuff we aren't as good at, it can be easy to let the stuff we are good at slide.

And of course, the challenge is there are people out there who assume things are going to work out without doing any work.  And gosh, wouldn't that be nice.  

When Mr. Rogers said to look for the helpers he was talking to kids.  So, we have hopefully, in a variety of ways, become the helpers that kids of today would look to.  And of course there are days when that is a lot.  

But thinking of hope as a discipline, rather than a thing that magically shows up when you need it, is helpful to me.  It means I can practice, I can get better.  And if I'm having a day where it seems hard, I might need to think about changing my practice or seeking out new teachers.  

Newsletter - Part 2

Over on the newsletter, I've got part two of figuring out what to read and maybe how attending virtual book events can help.  

Edited to update link

Three Interesting Things

Content note:  Discussion of a documentary about sexual assault.  

RAINN has resources here:  The National Sexual Assault Hotline is available 24/7: Telephone: 800.656.HOPE (4673) Online chat: online.rainn.org Español: rainn.org/es  

1. This discussion of the behind the scenes editing concerns with the folks behind the documentary series "Surviving R. Kelly" was fascinating both, as the story notes, now that it has been nominated for an Emmy, and because, I do think on balance the series centered the survivors, but there were moments watching it where, as someone versed in reality TV tropes, I braced a bit that they were going to veer in a different direction. Also, warning that the link that follows contains an accompanying story image, where the perpetrator is larger than the survivors.  

2. I was saddened to see that this (and additional announcements since this piece) was the result of the weeks of pushing on the part of the various Bon Appetit video employees.  I wish them all well in their new and/or adjusted roles, and hope this push towards salary transparency will benefit them in the future. 

3. Tom and Lorenzo did a piece on Elle Wood's pink dress in the final act of "Legally Blonde".  Note: as "Legally Blonde" features sexual harassment, there are references to sexual harassment.