Hugs

Hugs to everyone who needs one. Hugs to those having to brave bitter cold. Hugs those having to deal with militarized occupation as they commute to work. Hugs to those grieving and otherwise recovering from a mass shooting or other unexpected death.  Hugs to those having to wonder if being visibly themselves is safe. Hugs, hugs, hugs. 

I Might Have Set the Bread on Fire

My writer friends know that I joke all the time that all plot problems can be solved with fire. I'm not saying that's the only solution. But it's one. 

I have been peer influenced into the focaccia trend and now own things like bread flour, and put dough in the freezer so I can make a little bread later. I know. Who am I? 

So I took some frozen bread dough out of the freezer and stuck it in the fridge to thaw before running errands on Saturday. Saturday was warmish and sunny so much of humanity was out and about, and I did not wear the shoes with the good arch support so I was very ready to go back on my couch when I got home. But I pulled the dough out of the fridge to proof and then uh, forgot about it. So I remembered about 9:30 and decided to chuck it in the oven and forgot about how I usually put the rack on the lowest slot. And I sat down and started journaling and the oven made a weird series of beeps, and it turned out that yes, when you stick the bread up high where the parchment paper touches the element you end up with fire. Ooops. 

I opened the window and turned on the fan and waited for the paper to stop burning. 

See, dramatic. There was apparently something in the air because my neighbor's smoke alarm went off about a minute later. 

But I tossed the scorched parchment paper and put the dough back in the oven. And it was delicious.

Did my personal plot move forward. Well, we shall have to see. 

In Defense of Grief

There's a discussion of sorts, in romance right now about grief. Now, split as the social medias are these days, I am only seeing one corner of it. I have some theories, and I know other do to. 

First, I lost a parent in my twenties. It was hard. But it also absolutely changed how I felt about parents dying in books I read. I grew up on Disney movies where parents die all the time. As a writer I totally understand that two parents seem like so many when it comes to managing kid characters, and so sometimes it seems easier to be like they only have one parent okay, two is too many. (Obviously two is not too many, but yanno, as worldbuilders, we get mean sometimes.)

So, the first part of my argument is that the death, and the grief has always been there. Watching "Hamlet" as an adult I was struck how we tend to perceive Hamlet seeing ghosts as him going mad rather than rightly attempting to grieve his father while everyone around him is trying to move on. Ophelia 'goes mad' after her father is killed. Like they tell her her dad is dead and then are like, well, you don't seem to be handling this well. Plays move fast, but wow.

In romance a very common trope is that someone has died and now in order to get the inheritance, someone must marry. Or someone is dying, but would love to see their relatives married before they go. Or the sibling who was supposed to inherit has died, and now main character must get married. Or sibling or parent has died, and therefore the house goes to some sort of male heir, and female character must get married.  Or someone is or might die, and we need to decide who will take over the business. And it would help if they were married. Or maybe they don't need to be married, but they fall in love with the person they are competing against. Okay, I could actually come up with more examples, but I will stop there. My point is the death, the dying, the grief has always been there. 

Olivia Waite posited that we are seeing more dead of the cancer parents because we all went through COVID, and yet as a disease, COVID has become political in ways that cancer is not. So writers grappling with such are subbing in cancer.  (To be clear, I am aware that both COVID and cancer still exist.) I think this could well be true.  I certainly am seeing COVID show up in just about every genre that is not romance, and romance is so rarely a genre in lag.  While COVID has shown up in some romances, including some of mine, so I am very biased, it is not yet common.  It could be, as suggested, a wish to stay away from thorny political things.  It could also be a result of a wish not to date the book.  I think it is almost impossible to not date books.  Books written pre-smartphone are obviously pre-smartphone.  There are things that will date your book that you cannot plan for. But being early, or mid pandemic places the book firmly in place.  

But the grief, in whatever form exists.  I think many more people have experienced grief, given how many people were and are affected by COVID.  So perhaps they are more aware of the prevalence of grief in romance.  I think finding happy things, even when one is grieving can be one of the joys of romance.  That good things await even after bad things.  But I am also aware that pre-pandemic a number of people recommended a book as fluffy that contained sudden parental death as a major mid-book plot point.  And when I pointed out that a characters parent dies in the middle of the book, a lot of people gave me the okay, so what's your point head tilt.  We all have our own journeys with grief.  The days we need a book that will let us grieve with the characters, and the days we absolutely cannot.  But I suspect that maybe we are all, collectively, a little more attuned to grief.  And so are noticing the grief that has been there all along.  

I am a person who has lost both parents, and I think people like me deserve to see romances about characters who have lost one or more parents.  I'm not saying all books need to have dead parents.  And certainly we can label and recommend carefully so people can all find the books they are looking for.  

A Friendsgiving Defense

I saw an article referring to Friendsgiving as made up, and oh here I go. For five years I tweeted (twote?) silly holidays every morning and so of course I looked into who made up some of them. (I talked a little about that before.) 

And first, all holidays are made up. There are no organically grown holidays. They all got plunked down somewhere, decreed by someone with or without authority. But if you think I am going to eschew celebrating Ice Cream for Breakfast Day just because nobody gets the day off work, you would be wrong. (Also, many people, including the nice people at the ice cream place, work holidays. So let's also stop pretending "everyone" gets holidays off.)

Second, Thanksgiving is also made up. It commemorates an event, sure. But there are four US states that claim the first Thanksgiving discussion was held in their state. It's current placement on the calendar was literally determined as a way to boost people starting Xmas shopping early. 

And honestly Friendsgiving shouldn't need a name. It does because weirdoes who don't understand why you would want to share a meal with someone you aren't related to or planning to marry. But people do because jobs, travel, or family being not great. (Allegedly.)

Gathering with friends, with community is a way to celebrate the supposed mythology of the holiday, the gathering and sharing of fall and winter foods. You can do that with family also. But the family you make counts to, whether or not you are bound by blood or legalities. 

Timing

Everything took longer than I expected this weekend. Okay like three things. I was meeting up with some folks Saturday and needed to bring something with me that needed to be cooked. I had a headache Friday night, so made it Saturday. Except I started late. And then realized it needed to be cooled. 

Sunday I made a soup so I would have food for the week. I fortunately had planned a simple grazing meal for dinner. Because at 9:30 that thing was still burbling away. (Is this what I get for not presoaking my beans? Probably.)

Anyway, the soup finally finished but some weeks or weekends are like that. Everything takes a little longer to come together than you hoped and you kind of have to roll with it. Wishing you started sooner doesn't fix the problem at hand. And better late than never doesn't apply to everything, but for soup it probably works. 

Hope your food is ready when you need it this week.