I grew up in DC which has a pretty robust regional theater scene, and a few theaters that are large enough to attract touring casts. I love theater. We went to the children's theater so many times growing up it felt like I saw everything, though that's likely not true. I went to see "Peter Pan" with a cousin. I went to see "Comedy of Errors" as an eight year old, which both seems to young and is also the perfect age to be introduced to a Shakespeare comedy. (The thing we sometimes forget about kids, is they are very used to about half the references flying over their heads, they don't care if they don't catch every word, they often just need the gist. Obviously, your child may vary.)
But I did not grow up in New York, where the robust amount of theater DC offers is about one non-dark night of theater in New York. So, once I figured out what the Tonys were, I watched. And I haunted discount bins at the places that sold music and started picking up cast albums that sounded interesting. I still remember listening stations and finding one set up with the cast album of "Rent" and making the friend who was with me come listen. (She was not a musical theater nerd, so she was less enthused than I was.)
These days it is somewhat easier to be a non-New York or London living musical theater nerd. And yes, I am aware that musical theater exists in the rest of the world also. And that "Maybe Happy Ending" was performed in Korea first. But now, between Tiktoks and YouTube and the other plethora of social media, it is so much easier.
Also, I'm picking on the Tonys here, but this also applies to the Oliviers and the Big Night of Musicals, and sometimes various appearances on morning or late night shows.
In an actor's life it's an absolute crapshoot as to whether anything you're in will get nominated for a Tony (or Olivier, etc). So if it does, you obviously want to pick a number that does ideally two things: includes all of the cast, and is easy for the audience who may be doesn't know the show to follow. This is why you see a lot of opening numbers. But of course, to pick "Oklahoma" as a random example, the opening number is just Curly. So, okay, that doesn't work for that show. The next most obvious choice is often the song that closes Act 1, because it usually brings everyone of stage to remind you where everyone is and what they are all worried about in case you would otherwise forget during the intermission.
But what if you're show really only has one ensemble number and it's at the end? Well, usually the finale is super long. After all, it has to wrap up all the remaining loose threads. But the Tony's, unlike, ahem, other awards shows, tries to keep on schedule, so gives each show a time limit. So you have say an eight minute finale and a four minute slot, they will often either chop the song, or do it double time.
And some shows, I am sure after some conversations with the cast, give up and just pick a number from early in the show, and tell the cast members not in it, hey, you get to rest tonight.
What all of this means, is that sometimes the number performed is very weird, or seems weird because it lacks the appropriate context. (One of my favorite YouTube comments on a performance of "Dear Bill" from "Operation Mincemeat" is: This song means so much more in context." Because, yes, of course it does.)
In rare moments the opposite is true. They pull out their very best song, and much like seeing a movie where everything funny was in the trailer, you discover that one eleven o'clock powerhouse of a song was the best bit.
So these days, when possible, I try to research. I go find a many cast albums as have already been released and read up on the shows, so that whatever performance they do I have as much context as someone who hasn't actually watched the show can have.
And so when, "Maybe Happy Ending" performs "Firefly" because it's the only number that uses all three cast members, I know enough to understand.
Don't get me wrong. I still adore the Tony's. But I think trying to understand the choices shows are trying to make helps appreciate when a particular performance choice doesn't work as well without context.